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| Recently, I been getting closer with one of the girls in my church. She is quite a dynamic, artsy type of girl that you think she is too cool to talk to you, and at times its true. She walks around the campus with a pompous attitude, but if you were to stop and say hi to her she would light up with one of the most genuine smiles.
Like the other cuter christian girl in my family of sisters, she was one of the last people i really tried to get to know. This reason was two-fold. I didnt want to be a douchebag and make it seem that i was hollering and two she always thought i was that douchebag that would holler. Perception precedes substance. But as we got to know each other, the depth and the invisible community that is the church created a pretty awesome bond.
We not talk regularly and since she date the most random guy i believed recently, i asked her what it is that she was attracted to. She said talent. She likes a guy that can paint or that can play an instrument like an extension of his hand. Reading a fellow's friend blog on how she was turned on by her guy friend playing pool and it just reminded me: i cant sing, i cant dance, i am tone death, and i can not draw a circle to save my life. In other news, I can head shot a guy across the screen in Call of Duty like a boss. Damn if only gaming got as much girls. Had i known i would have grown up playing the guitar instead of freaken starcraft and super smash bros.
Nah, I kid. i would never give up games. Besides looks and intelligence and some of the other pretty normal stuff. What do you guys look for in a potential significant other?
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| Purging the soul is necessary from time to time. The word catharsis comes to mind as I lay in bed and tears rush down my cheeks as if i were a 13 year old girl who was told by Jimmy i was loved only to find sally had a bigger pool and he rather go play with her or something. The great thing about the heart is it is like any other muscle. The more you work out your muscles the less sore it is after an intense work out. Well my heart has been broken time and time again this year and you know what it doesnt hurt anymore.
The hurt will be delayed and will take other forms. I might go crazy at the club and spread my hurt there and the chain of damage and baggage will go that way. Its like i am at a point where i can sit here and learn from all this and really grow in the ugliness that is myself or i can run back into the darkness and see where it goes.
Talking with a friend, I have realized that i have fell into the wrong religion. I like casual dating and want more of a looker, however i only date christians and casual dating is nonexistent and lookers in the church are far and few in between. It seems like the prettiest girls get invited to too many parties in college and life and have little time to reflect upon the meaning of life. But i digress.
We all mistakes. Things happen for a reason. They have to. They just have to.
I may have lost my way now
Havent forgotten my way home...
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| I wake up late for my date with passionblame. This isnt no ordinary date. This was one of those awesome xanga dates. We went to Filippos on college avenue and it was nice. We had some great conversations and laughs. We had a bunch of mutual friends 5 years ago in college and our significant others were friends. We just kept in touch via xanga and kinda met up. It was fun. What made it a date. I paid. :) lolz
Anyways we talked and it was really fun. We updated each other one dating life and it was just real and raw. Straight to the point. I guess thats xanga for you. You are so raw on xanga that you dont feel any inhibition letting people in even farther when you meet up. It was just good times overall.
I then pick up my friend molly higgins who is from boston and is visiting. I play chauffer for her and we go to cheeseboard with vicki and andrew. we meet up matt huang and phillip mao and go get some icii. We then head back to phil's place watch the game.
Then went to an asian womyn conference where they read poetry and stuff. It was pretty crazy. and yes they spell womyn without the e. But i have mad respect for these women and it was nice hearing their poetry. I peaced out pretty soon though and took molly to sarah chi, becky chiang, and tiff's place. It was like too many christian girls in one room and me. I tried to keep my mouth shut but still got pwned.
It was just a great day and it was nice seeing people but i was so tired. I thought i was gonna die driving home. Work life sucks.
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| Saturday was pretty epic. Its one of those nights that reminds you that you are still young and crazy shit can still happen. I wish i had pictures but sadly my camera broke ever since i went on my company's hummer limo ride. So the chocolate and beer festival was pretty great. It was 4 girls and 3 guys and i dont know if its our ridiculously good looks or we looked like we were having too much fun, but people that left early would give us their tickets for free drinks and chocolate.
It was all bad. Hahah. We had a blast and of course i always like to drink and who can pass up free beer. It was a dark beer fest so we got to try different stouts and pale ales and what not. It was great. We all hung and i got bored so i hit on the white girl next to me in front of her two parents. It was a classy kind of hit on and i did it in stages. By the end of the day i had her mom laughing and i swear her dad knew i was just about to ask her for her number he moved out of the scene too. I got her number. Girl goes to davis is a senior and what not, but its not my thing. Its just for fun.
The fair was at 3 and we ended up going to in and out after. I was suppose to pick up gloria, my date, to go to our ten year anniversary company blah blah fest, but i got there an hour and half late. And mind you i am pretty wasted at this point. I pick her up and she is like are u drunk and she is all pissy so i was like i dont need this shit rihgt now so i kick her out of the car and tell her to walk home. haha i wish i did that. I asked her do you still want to go. and she goes no i thought it would be fun but u are drunk and we are so late. i was like fine i will drop you off. My friend jeremy drops me off at a parking lot so he can get jen to drive him to his cousins house. Its like 730 right about now. I am like alright i am not good enough to drive so i am gonna chill for a bit in my car.
I wake up aching so hard. I am like where am i and i check the clock and its 11:30. Holy crap i like just took a 4 hr power nap. My boys birthday is in sf and i can still make it to that but i say eff it. I call up an friend and crash at their place.
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